What rules you?

Do you consider yourself a rule-follower or a rule-breaker? Whatever the answer, one thing that you may not be aware of is that every person has their own set of rules they follow. These rules are important to know because they drive your every action.

Yep, every one follows a set of rules. You have rules for love, success, relationships, you name it. So if there is an area of your life that isn’t working so well, you need to look at your rules and redefine them.

For example, some time ago I looked at my rules for success. I asked myself, “What has to happen in order for me to feel successful?” My answers surprised me. I had to make a lot more money than I am now. I had to be acknowledged as successful by others, primarily by those in authority. I had to be given recognition (like awards, etc.). And, I had to be given a position of authority.

Pardon the expression, but what a load of crap! Yet, these were the rules I was living under. Picked up from my childhood and other experiences, this is the definition I had unconsciously given to success. Notice how my rules were really leaving me with no control. Under these rules, I was dependent on others actions and reactions to me to determine my level of success. I gave myself no say in the matter.

I quickly defined a new set of rules for success – a set of rules where I was in control of the outcome. Now, to me, success means helping another. Success means leaving someone happier and more content than when I first met them. Success is when I learn something new or do something better than I used to. Success is doing something I thought I couldn’t do. Success is giving. And success is continuing to love someone even when they do something I don’t love.

I like these rules a whole lot more because not only am I in control of my success, but I have a whole lot more capacity to feel successful every day. And that’s awesome.

So ask yourself, what has to happen for you to feel successful? What has to happen for you to feel loved? What has to happen for you to be in a passionate relationship? What has to happen for you to be happy? You may be surprised by your answers. You may think others are to blame for things not going well in your life, but it’s only because you set up your rules that way. Know your rules; then change your rules. It will change your life.

And that’s my perspective…

Do you have a life list?

Have you ever done the exercise where you have written down all your goals of what you would like to achieve before you die? If you have, have you then looked over your list and thought, “Holy crap. How and when am I ever going to do any of this?”

Such a task is useful to make you think of what you desire, but the after-effect of feeling overwhelmed and perhaps inadequate is less than helpful. There you are with your big long ‘to do’ list and you haven’t got a clue where to start. With a list like this, everything can seemingly appear unattainable. Recently, I came across a great way to make your seemingly unattainable goals seem quite realistic; so I thought I’d share. I got this from Jeanette Maw (goodvibecoach.com) who got it from Mike Dooley (tut.com).

First you are to number a page from say 1 to 30 (or whatever the page will take- the actual number is not important.) Beside the odd numbers, write down goals from the past that you have already accomplished. When you are finished, fill in the even numbers with the goals you wish to achieve. It’s amazing how intermingling current goals with ones already completed gives you a whole new perspective on what is possible. And it completely eliminates a daunting to do list since you can immediately cross off half the items as already done! Sweet.

To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, I’ll share a portion of my list with you:

1. Sail around the world on at tall ship.

2. Do pilates/yoga regularly.

3. Go on a safari in Africa.

4. Write a book.

5. Walk on fire.

6. Live on acreage with a short commute to the city.

7. Meet a celebrity.

8. Travel through Italy.

Do you see how all of a sudden, my current goals (even numbers) seem fairly small and reachable compared to what I have already done (odd numbers)?

When we are making goals they often seem like dreams that are out of reach because they are an unknown. We haven’t done them yet so it is difficult to fathom their existence. But when you couple that with all the things you have already achieved, they become closer in reach. You begin to remember that the things you have done were perhaps once pie in the sky dreams as well. And now that you’ve done them, you think, “I’ve done that. No big deal.” So the stuff you haven’t done becomes, “I can do that. No big deal.”

So this fire-walking world traveler is off to sign up for pilates…maybe. Well, at least I know I can do it! On second thought, I think I’ll google Italian sites instead!

And that’s my perspective…

Extreme PD anyone?

Imagine a professional development seminar where you are one of 4000 participants. Imagine that this seminar begins daily at 8:30am, finishes around midnight, and you only get one 1hour break (usually around 5 pm). Now imagine that this seminar takes place in an open room with a cement floor and you are sitting on plastic fold out chairs. And imagine that after the first day you would be led out of this seminar to a dark parking garage in the dead of night with the 3999 other strangers, and you would then proceed to walk barefoot over twelve feet of hot coals.

Now imagine that same seminar where the facilitator is world-renowned, best in his field. Imagine going through four days of learning solid, proven strategies to change your life and overcome your deepest fears. Imagine actually annihilating your most limiting beliefs at that seminar and replacing them with new empowering belief systems. Imagine a seminar where you are continually engaged, never tired, always energized. Imagine connecting with the other participants so deeply that you make life-long friends.

Now imagine being chosen out of those 4000 people by this world-renowned facilitator to come up on stage and work out an issue that not only helps you, but helps countless others in the room. And by doing so, you are completely transformed.

I recently returned from such a seminar and the above three paragraphs describe in a nutshell what I experienced. The event was entitled “Unleash the Power Within” and the world-renowned facilitator was none other than Anthony Robbins.

I sum up the whole experience as ‘extreme PD’. And yes, the days were that long; and no, I never felt tired; and yes, it was the most rewarding experience of my life; and no, the effects of it have not worn off, nor will they.

The majority of the people I talk to are most intrigued by the firewalk. All I can say is that walking barefoot over 2000 degree Fahrenheit coals was one of the easiest things I have ever done. It did not hurt. It did not burn. I walked twelve feet but could have easily walked fifty. The experience has made me look at life’s problems in a completely different way. I mean if I can walk on fire, what else can I do? Anything, quite frankly. Taking the first step is the most critical for the firewalk. Once you take the first step, there’s no turning back. There’s no waiting around, pondering “Do I really want to do this?” You just do it. What a great metaphor for life.

This seminar also challenged a number of my beliefs about what constitutes a good education. We did 50 hours of instruction in 4 days – almost the same amount of hours needed for a 6 credit unit class. This method of immersion was far more effective than if we would have done one hour a week for 50 weeks. Also, having 4000 participants added to the excitement, energy, and success of the event. If we were a group of 50, a lot would have been lost. And lastly, we did not just sit in our chairs and take notes. We were continually out of our chairs working in pairs or threes, physically putting what we learned to use, and utilizing our minds, bodies, and spirits for maximum effect. We were fully engaged! And it made all the difference.

Challenge your beliefs. Dare to see your life in new ways. If you think you have an issue, instead of thinking of it as an ending, think of it as a beginning. And know you are capable of much more than you think. You, too, could easily walk on fire.

And that’s my perspective….

PS. If anyone is interested in experiencing this event, I highly recommend it. Feel free to email me for more information. The next seminar is June 11-14^th in Toronto.

Prosperity vs Poverty: What's in Your Consciousness?

Everyday it seems people are hearing, talking, and/or worrying about the economy. Will I have a job? Will I have enough to retire? Will I be ok? And the answer is YES.

I have long believed that we create our own reality. Too often, we believe that outside forces create our reality for us. If this is true, then why do some people prosper in poor economic times? It is because they believe they will. Their thoughts are focused with conscious intention on prosperity. They have what is called prosperity consciousness.

Prosperity consciousness is a new buzz phrase, but one we should all become familiar with. Most people think prosperity is an abundance of money or things or even luck – it is not. Prosperity is a mindset. Similarly, your poverty is not a lack of money or things nor is it bad luck – it too is a mindset.

What’s your mindset? Is it focused with intention on prosperity or poverty?

Randy Gage, a world renowned prosperity expert, gives three areas to focus on to determine whether we have prosperity consciousness or poverty consciousness. These areas are as follows:

1. The Fixation
Are you fixated on money? Are you always thinking about how much something costs? Are you always thinking about what is in your bank account? Will you not buy something you like because it is $10 too much? Will you buy a medium coffee because a large costs more money? Do you keep a tally of what people owe you down to the penny? Do you feel like someone is trying to steal or take from you if you are asked for money?
Or
Do you know you have what you need? Do you know if you need more it will come? Do you graciously give when someone is in need? Do you make choices based on discernment and not on emotion? Do you pay your bills with ease and feel good that you are able to?

2. The Disassociation
Do you hate rich people? Are you suspicious of them? Are you jealous of them? Are they in a group you do not associate with? Do you believe rich people are rich because they take other people’s money, even if those people willingly gave it for a service they provide? Do you believe money is the root of all evil? Or that if you are rich you can not be spiritual or a good person? Do you believe that most rich people have not come by it honestly? Do you believe they don’t deserve to be rich? Do you believe you don’t deserve to be rich? Do you view money as a source of corruption? Do you believe that by someone else having money means it takes it out of the pocket of someone who doesn’t or even out of your pocket? Do you believe all this and still strive to be rich and wonder why you aren’t?
Or
Do you look at the rich and become inspired? Do you think if they can do it, I can too? Are you happy for their success? Do you wish for even more blessings to come their way? Can you visualize yourself as rich? Do you see money as great capable of doing great things?

3. The Fear Based Decision Making
Do you make decisions based on fear? Do you make decisions to avoid a possible negative outcome? Do you not move forward with an idea because you think it may fail or even succeed? Do you hang onto your money and not invest because you are afraid you will lose it? Do you drive around the parking lot for 10 minutes to avoid having to walk farther than you feel is acceptable? Are you always worried when things are good that something is coming to change that? Do you feel intense negative emotion over losing $10 and little positive emotion over gaining $100? Do you feel you can’t spend money on something you want because there might not be enough in the future?
Or
Do you make decisions knowing the best will come out of it? Do you know any failed attempts are just experiences to gain wisdom and that you can try again or do something differently? Do you graciously give without fear of being put out? Are you grateful for all that you have and all that you receive? Do you realize you don’t miss the money you have spent but only bask in the experiences that spending has given you?

After going through these questions would you say you have prosperity consciousness or poverty consciousness? My hope is that you have prosperity consciousness. My experience shows me most people don’t. But the good news is you have the power to change that. Poverty consciousness is nothing more than impoverished thoughts made into beliefs because you have habitually thought them over and over again. You have control of your thoughts. Think new prosperous ones over and over again. And allow yourself to relax about money.

Easier said than done? I know. I used to be the poverty consciousness poster child. I would count my money down to the penny. I would be stingy tipping at restaurants even finding something wrong with the service to justify not tipping. I would not order a drink at a restaurant because it would drive up the bill that extra $1.50. I never picked up the cheque, just bought my own. I would be jealous of rich people. And, I would focus on what I didn’t have instead on what I did have. But I have been able to change that. And I now live a very prosperous life. Sometimes, I get stuck back in my old ways, and I have to force myself to think differently. And then things turn around. Why? Because I control my prosperity, not the economy. Come on say it with me, “I control my prosperity, not the economy.” Say it louder now, “I Control My Prosperity, Not the Economy.” Now say it like you mean it, “I CONTROL MY PROSPERITY, NOT THE ECONOMY.” Now feel what you’re saying, really believe it this time

“I CONTROL MY PROSPERITY, NOT THE ECONOMY.”

Well done. Now make it your conscious intention to do so. Pay attention to your impoverished thoughts and when you have one, tell yourself “Oh yeah, I control my prosperity and all is well.”

I wish you all to be showered with the greatest abundance and prosperity day after day for you all truly deserve it, no matter what.

And that’s my perspective…

Conscious Intentions revisited

In my last blog entry, I spoke of intention. I am not done with this subject yet. It is my intention to make sure you get this, because I believe intention is the most powerful tool anyone has at their disposal to make their life as they would wish it to be.

Most people don’t believe they can really influence the events in their lives. That belief is an intention in itself. It goes something like this, “I intend to not believe I can actually make a difference in my life, so stuff will just happen and I get what I get, and sometimes other people are to blame and sometimes not, but I have no control over such things.”

Does this resonate with you?

Now imagine changing that belief. With conscious conviction state emphatically, “I intend to create joy in my life no matter what. I intend to take responsibility for it all.” Congratulations. You have just consciously given yourself permission to get the good stuff no matter what. And not only that, you have intended that you have full control over what it is. And whatever it is will come. But the thing about conscious intention is you have to pay attention; be in the moment in order to get the pay off. You have to be conscious. Otherwise, the unconscious intentions that are still deeply entrenched within will take over. But it’s not because you can not actually consciously create your life as you wish. It’s because you stopped paying attention (aka went unconscious).

So take note of what’s going on around you every moment. Be aware. Be conscious! When something enjoyable happens, acknowledge it and congratulate yourself for consciously intending that to happen. When a situation occurs that would normally irritate or frustrate you, tell yourself you intend to not react to this because you intend to enjoy yourself no matter what.

Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” Judgment, disapproval, believing someone is wrong are all just forms of resistance as is any negative emotion, which is why the conditions you judge, disapprove of, see as wrong, or feel bad about continue to persist. Trying harder or putting up more of a fight will cause them to persist that much harder or that much more. Drop your fight, lose your judgment, and stop pushing so hard against someone or something, and you will find that you feel peace replace the push. You may think if you stop fighting the other person wins. But the truth is if you stop fighting, intend for nothing but good to come out of it, then you win. And please intend that it be about you winning and not about the other person losing. Try it. It may surprise you.

So when you win on Roll up the Rim, tell yourself you intended that. When you don’t win, tell yourself you intend to enjoy your coffee whether it has a Toyota Senza attached to it or not (this would be the ‘no matter what’ clause coming into play.) Before a meeting, intend to be of service whether that means listening, sharing your knowledge, being understanding, or just enjoying the fact you are learning new information. When your dog chews on one of your favorite pair of shoes, be conscious of how angry you are, and then allow yourself to feel good that you get to go buy a new pair. Or that you love your dog so much you’d give up all your shoes to have him. Or that you realize feeling angry only serves to make you feel bad and won’t bring your shoe back or make your dog change so you might as well laugh.

Whatever it is, go consciously find that new and improved perspective. I double dog dare you. When you succeed, reward yourself with a new pair of shoes.

You can do this. Just intend to.

And that’s my perspective…

Conscious Intentions

Recently, I was reminded by a friend about the power of intention. She said, “All of what exists in our reality began with an intention.” I pondered this for a moment, then asked, “You mean I intended to be irritated by my kids having a shouting match over who should get into the car first this morning?” "Yes." she assured me.

She went on to explain that there are two types of intention:
1. conscious intention where we consciously choose how we intend to feel, and
2. unconscious intention – where some belief in our subconscious mind chooses for us.

In the absence of us consciously choosing our intentions, unconscious intentions fill in by default. But there is always an intention, whether you are aware of it or not.

I began to ponder this and realized that very recently I put the power of conscious intention to play. A couple weeks ago, I was invited to a party at a friend’s house. The week had been busy, my girls had been a handful, and come the day of the party, I did not feel like going. I just wanted to curl up in a blanket, read, and go to bed early.

But a promise is a promise, so I went. In the car I began thinking things like, “I hope this is over quick.” “Maybe I can make some excuse to leave early.” Then I stopped myself and realized I was setting myself up for a lousy time. How crazy was that? I decided since I made the decision to go to this party, I might as well make the decision to enjoy myself. So I sat up straight in the car and said out loud with conviction, “I intend to have a good time tonight. May I reap all of the joy that there is to be had in this evening, no matter what!”

There, that felt better. A word of caution: Look around before you do conscious intentions in your car. The teenagers in the car next to me were looking at me like I was crazy-talking-to-herself lady. Oh well. Probably not the first time that’s happened.

So, the party was great. I had the best time. Fantastic conversations with wonderful people flowed as did good wine. It was divine just as I had intended it to be.

And this morning, I said again with conscious conviction, “I intend to have a great morning with my kids no matter what!” And I did. I also realize my default unconscious intention is “I will enjoy mornings with my kids if they act they way I want them to.” No wonder I was creating irritation and frustration. I set myself up for it by default. Makes you wonder how often that happens in all facets of our day. Ever go into a meeting dreading it? Ever make your happiness reliant on external events? That’s unconscious intention at work.

Dare yourself to try playing with this conscious intention. Think of it as if you are playing a game of cards: conscious intention trumps unconscious intention. And you always got that trump card to play. You just got to remember to use it.

Now I have to go consciously intend to have lunch with George Clooney. I know, unconsciously I am setting myself up for heartache, but a girl can always dream! :)

And that’s my perspective…

La Dolce Vita

I just returned from a two week holiday in Punta Cana – a little place of paradise on Earth located on the south side of the Dominican Republic. When I arrived in Punta Cana, I was reading a book set in Italy and it inspired me to give a theme to my vacation – la dolce vita (which is Italian for ‘the sweet life’). And la dolce vita it was – waking without alarms, meals made for me daily, drinks with umbrellas, afternoon naps, strolls along a white sand beach, frolicking in the salty waters of the ocean…

Needless to say, I felt a little melancholy about returning home. I thought, “I don’t want to leave this behind. How can I take this with me?”

And, as always, when you ask, it is given. Here was my answer. (I like to imagine this answer spoken by a sexy, Latino man with an equally sexy, Spanish accent. You, however, can imagine it any way you wish.)

“Fay, la dolce vita does not reside outside of yourself. It resides within; therefore, it is always with you. It is not the sand and surf that creates la dolce vita; it is seeing the beauty in the things that surround you. It is feeling the gratitude and joy that these things bring to you. So what it is it, Fay, that brings this gratitude, this joy to you in Saskatoon? Find that; experience that and la dolce vita is yours.”

Interesting. “So, what does bring me this feeling of la dolce vita?” I pondered. “How can I cultivate this sweet life at home, in everyday life?” The answers again came to me quickly. “Wrapping myself in a warm blanket and sipping decadent hot chocolate, listening to soothing music, making tasty meals from fresh ingredients, hearing my children’s laughter as they play, savoring brandy ensconced in a bean of chocolate, enjoying a hot bath with sea salts and essential oils, going to bed early, reading late, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face mixed with the cool winter air…”

I got it. I returned home and have felt quite content ever since.

What about you? Are you living the sweet life? Or is it more like a vinegary verve? If so, do not be upset. Just ask yourself the question, “How can I live la dolce vita now?” Listen for the list and live it. Know you do not need to run to a tropical country to find it. You have it with you all the time. You just must choose to experience it.

And in my knowing, in my finding of this sweet thing that is my life, I whisper to myself with gratitude in Italian, Spanish, and English, “Grazie! Gracias! Thank you.”

And that’s my perspective…

Secret Resolutions

The New Year is upon us and resolutions abound. Have you made a New Year’s resolution? Have you told anyone about it? You know I have heard motivational speakers and performance coaches speak of making your commitments public so that it gives you more incentive to see them through. Accountability they call it. I disagree. In my life, when something is really important to me, I find making a commitment to myself and keeping it a secret much more effective. That way I know the only person I am accountable to is me. I don’t have to add the pressure of people watching to see if I will fail or succeed, or judge the rate it is taking me to finish. And I also don’t use my goal as an excuse to stroke my ego in front of others. Usually an ego-driven goal is not going to be accomplished anyway and you’ll certainly end up with egg on your face. All these are the dangers of making your commitments public.

I remember back in high school, getting your driver’s license was pretty important business. Everyone knew when you were doing your test and everyone had their comments about how many times it took you to get your license. I was going to keep my test date a secret. Then in an act of weakness (ego got the best of me), I told a friend who then told two friends and so on….I was awarded my license on the second try. I had wished I hadn’t told anyone. I still remember Stacey Buzinski*, who successfully was awarded her license on the first try driving stick no less, looking at me with indignant superiority. Yes, she was good but I was too young to realize her success had no bearing on my own. It took the wind out my sails and added a whole lot more pressure on me to succeed. That’s great if you work best under pressure. I don’t.

Skip forward a few years. I had made it a goal to graduate from university with Great Distinction. I didn’t tell anyone. I did and when I showed my parchment to friends and family members they were really impressed. More importantly, I felt like I had kept a promise to myself. This was my achievement and mine alone. If I would have talked at great length about my goal, no one would have cared in the end and I think sometimes perhaps I wouldn’t have made it. Have you ever noticed people sometimes have a tendency to bring you down when you are trying to rise above? Have you ever noticed they can be very effective in keeping you down? Yet another draw back of going public.

So if you have a resolution or a goal you wish to accomplish, keep it a secret. Make it a commitment to yourself and be accountable only to you. Don’t let anyone be the critic of you - even yourself. When you succeed, it is total satisfaction and fulfillment for you and wondrous applause from others. They’ll wonder what your secret is.

And that’s my perspective…

*Name has been changed. I decided to keep it a secret. :)

Nobody's Perfect

Just when you think you’ve blown it, the Universe has a funny way of letting you know everything is going to be ok. Wow, did the Universe ever decide to hit that home for me today.

This morning was not my best. I woke up feeling good but my youngest daughter sure didn’t and that’s when things seemed to go downhill fast. First, she started crying because she didn’t want to get up and dressed. Then she didn’t like the socks she was wearing and pulled them off. Then she was mad that I put a shirt on her because she all of a sudden decided “I wanted to do it myself!”

Finally I got her and her sister to the breakfast table. And all seemed to be ok for awhile until my dear girl then noticed that there was yogurt on her hand and that this would somehow cause the end of civilization as we know it. I got her cleaned up and we were off to brush teeth. She then complained there was something yucky in her mouth and of course it must have come from her toothbrush so she refused to clean her teeth. I just let that go instead of fighting her some more. We eventually made it to the door to put on coats and boots. As I was trying to put on her coat, she started screaming she needed a Kleenex. I told her I’d get her one in a minute after I zipped up her coat, but apparently this was the wrong answer because more tears and screams of injustice poured from her little body. I managed to get the Kleenex, get my keys, get my coat, and get us all out the door. Finally, we were in the car and I was backing out of the driveway. Whew!

Just then she began screaming she wanted to take her puppy (stuffed animal) with her. I admit I must have had a lose wire exposed or I short-circuited or something, because this is the point where I lost it. I don’t know what came over me, but it was like a monster entered my body and let loose. If you have ever read anything by Eckhart Tolle, he would say my pain-body needed to feed. And let me tell you, it was voracious. Like a raving maniac, I began yelling at my daughter that she didn’t deserve to take her puppy to daycare. That if she wanted to yell and scream at me, then I would yell and scream at her. And then I said, you’re not getting your puppy asking like that with your whiny, demanding voice, because I don’t respond to that kind of talk (all evidence to the contrary). Hardly my proudest parenting moment.

Then, a shaky little voice says, “ Mommy can I please get my puppy to bring to daycare.”

I put the car in park, went into the house, and got her puppy. I stood for a few moments at the door thinking to myself, “Who am I?” Here I am supposed to be this calm, enlightened, with-it person and I am so not in this moment. Tears came to my eyes as I realized how awful and out-of-control I was. I said a quick prayer asking for help and forgiveness and got back in the car.

There was dead silence on the drive to the daycare. When we arrived, before getting out of the car I turned around and spoke to both of my girls. I said, “I am sorry for yelling. It’s not very much fun when mom yells, huh?” They both nodded. “We all just had a bad start to the day. I’m sorry and I love you.” They smiled. We got out of the car holding hands and I gave them each a big hug and kiss before heading on my way to work.

When I got back into the car, I felt tears on their way. I felt like no matter what I have done to better myself, that there obviously was some rage inside of me and how awful that made me as a person. Who am I kidding? I am a bad mom who has probably scarred her children for life. And I obviously don't deserve anything good to come my way. Somewhere deep down, I knew there must be a lesson in all of this. Please, I asked, show me that I am moving forward, getting better, and that I am not really a hungry monster in disguise.

I made it into work. First I decided to listen to voice mail. There was a message from my best friend who said she read my blog last night and loved it. She said it made her laugh out loud and I had a real gift and talent and to keep it up. That was sure nice to hear.

Then I looked at email. I had just subscribed to Oprah’s quote of the day and there my first quote was waiting for me to read in my Inbox. It said, “The more we learn about the light within us, the easier it ultimately becomes to forgive ourselves for the fact that we're not perfect yet. If we were perfect, we wouldn't have been born. It's our mission to become perfect, however, and looking at where we're not is an important part of the process.” (Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles ) Well isn’t that timely. Here I had been berating myself for not being perfect, only to find out that it is best to forgive ourselves for this fact. Nobody’s perfect, and it is in our imperfection that we learn and grow.

Then my boss sent me a funny e-card that made me laugh. This was unexpected. It’s not like he does this often, so it was a welcome surprise.

Then the staff gathered to give our boss his Christmas gift, but before they did, they surprised me with a gift for all the support I had shown them that year. I was really taken aback. It made me feel very loved and special.

All this before 9:30am. You see, if you truly ask the Universe with an open heart for something – in this case to show me I actually am making a difference – it will respond and fast. It always does. We just need to pay attention to the clues.

Thank you Universe. Thank you for the moments of imperfection. And a special thank you for the moments of validation. I’m not perfect yet, but I’m getting better. I am grateful for you showing me so. And next time that pain-body monster wants to feed, may I please be able to say, “Sorry, this kitchen’s closed!”

And that's my perspective...

The Art of Silliness

What ever happened to the Art of Silliness? And yes, I say art because silliness provides the way to see possibilities without limiting ourselves, to learn without fear of failure, and to not take ourselves or our surroundings too seriously. Silliness allows us to detach from life’s stresses, laugh, and be creative. Aren’t these the exact qualities companies are trying to foster in their staffs? And yet they try to do this and be serious about it at the same time. How silly!

Even though I like to joke and laugh, I often take myself too seriously. I have often worried about what others may think if I didn’t do something perfectly. I have fretted over whether a letter looked better in Times New Roman or Arial font. And God forbid somebody notices the fact I often end a sentence with a preposition! My goodness, they may think I am stupid, or a heathen, or worse…incompetent! I need to be more silly, not necessarily while doing some specific office task, but in life in general so that I remember to laugh when the seemingly serious stuff pops up. So I dressed up for Halloween for the first time in a long time this year to break my serious rut. And you know, it was kind of fun. I walked and talked like a robot down the street with my 3 year old daughter, and it was a lot of fun (especially just to hear Natalie laugh hysterically.) While journaling, I decided to try an experiment where I would make up a fictitious, silly life for myself and write about it as if it had happened. And that just cracked me up. In fact, it was so much fun, I am keeping it up because it forces me to think outside the box, to dissolve my beliefs about what is possible, and to think about things that would be funny or just plain fun. It’s also far more exciting to have George Clooney chat with me at daycare when I drop off the kids, than just drop off the kids. It’s far more titillating to shop for Ferraris with my husband in Fiji, than to go to the grocery store. You get the idea? Now try it. Stop thinking of silly reasons not to.

And guess what? Sillyness (I like this spelling better because it’s sillier) is not something you have to learn. It is something you have to remember. One only needs to look to young children to know this art form is innate. In fact, when we really think about it, we all were masters of this art form until it was beaten out of us by serious adults. “Don’t be silly.” “Sit in your desk and be quiet.” “Stop acting silly; what will people think.” “When the bell rings, be still and serious. (when it’s recess then you can have 15 minutes to be silly – but not too silly.) ” And we all know young children are sponges when it comes to learning. Want to be a sponge? Then reclaim this lost art form and quit denying what is inherent within! And then, not only will you be more fun, filled with more laughter, and far more creative; you will also be more productive, energetic, healthier, and happier!

I will close with my 3 year old’s favourite silly joke (she made it up herself):
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To have poop come out of its bum!
(If this joke doesn’t summon at least a smirk, you definitely take life too seriously and require an injection of sillyness - stat!)

And that’s my perspective…