Happy or Crappy?

With December well underway, it's impossible not to think about Christmas. The question is what are you thinking about the Christmas? When it comes to Christmas, do you think happy or crappy?

Over the years, I have found that my thoughts of Christmas have vacillated from one end of the spectrum to the other. And after careful consideration and thoughtful reflection, I can verify that keeping one’s thoughts on the happiness end of the spectrum just feels a whole lot better. So why do so many of us allow ourselves to live in Crappyville? Here’s some of my own best examples (or shall I say BS aka Belief Systems):

1. I don’t have a lot of money and for Christmas to be great, I have to have a lot of money.

2. I have to get the ‘perfect’ gifts, or I will disappoint others.

3. I have to decorate, bake, shop, visit relatives, attend parties, wrap gifts, write and send cards, and still do all the other things I have to do.

4. I have to….

Do you see a pattern here? Do you notice each statement begins with “I have to”? How many “I have to”s are on your list? If there are more than two, you are probably on the road to Crappyville.

I realized by saying, “I have to” I automatically put expectations on myself that I had to meet in order for me to feel successful. What a load of crap (pardon the expression) – no wonder that’s what we end up feeling. Does my missing getting out the Christmas cards on time have anything to do with my personal worth? Of course not. Does deciding not to attend every party or failing to find the impossible perfect gift diminish who I am as a person? Not a chance.

So how do we move up the scale from crappiness to happiness?

1. Change “I have to” to “I choose to”. In doing so, you consciously make choices. And now you can choose to do some stuff and not other stuff. And you can choose to enjoy what you are doing no matter what it is.

2. Give always first from your heart and only secondly from your pocketbook. I know from personal experience that a thoughtful, inexpensive gift from the heart is far more precious and perfect than an impersonal expensive material item. If you do spend money, spend it with an open, giving, happy heart. It feels better.

3. Don’t get caught up in the guilt of what you think you should do. That is just adding more “I have to”s to the list. By making choices (see #1), you take responsibility for your actions, own your decisions, and thereby remove the guilt.

4. Drink. A glass of cabernet is always nice, but rum also seems to be quite effective. Tequila is best kept for emergencies.

Well gotta go. I have chosen to go pour myself another glass of wine. Merry Christmas everyone…hope it is a happy one!

And that’s my perspective...