La Dolce Vita

I just returned from a two week holiday in Punta Cana – a little place of paradise on Earth located on the south side of the Dominican Republic. When I arrived in Punta Cana, I was reading a book set in Italy and it inspired me to give a theme to my vacation – la dolce vita (which is Italian for ‘the sweet life’). And la dolce vita it was – waking without alarms, meals made for me daily, drinks with umbrellas, afternoon naps, strolls along a white sand beach, frolicking in the salty waters of the ocean…

Needless to say, I felt a little melancholy about returning home. I thought, “I don’t want to leave this behind. How can I take this with me?”

And, as always, when you ask, it is given. Here was my answer. (I like to imagine this answer spoken by a sexy, Latino man with an equally sexy, Spanish accent. You, however, can imagine it any way you wish.)

“Fay, la dolce vita does not reside outside of yourself. It resides within; therefore, it is always with you. It is not the sand and surf that creates la dolce vita; it is seeing the beauty in the things that surround you. It is feeling the gratitude and joy that these things bring to you. So what it is it, Fay, that brings this gratitude, this joy to you in Saskatoon? Find that; experience that and la dolce vita is yours.”

Interesting. “So, what does bring me this feeling of la dolce vita?” I pondered. “How can I cultivate this sweet life at home, in everyday life?” The answers again came to me quickly. “Wrapping myself in a warm blanket and sipping decadent hot chocolate, listening to soothing music, making tasty meals from fresh ingredients, hearing my children’s laughter as they play, savoring brandy ensconced in a bean of chocolate, enjoying a hot bath with sea salts and essential oils, going to bed early, reading late, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face mixed with the cool winter air…”

I got it. I returned home and have felt quite content ever since.

What about you? Are you living the sweet life? Or is it more like a vinegary verve? If so, do not be upset. Just ask yourself the question, “How can I live la dolce vita now?” Listen for the list and live it. Know you do not need to run to a tropical country to find it. You have it with you all the time. You just must choose to experience it.

And in my knowing, in my finding of this sweet thing that is my life, I whisper to myself with gratitude in Italian, Spanish, and English, “Grazie! Gracias! Thank you.”

And that’s my perspective…

Secret Resolutions

The New Year is upon us and resolutions abound. Have you made a New Year’s resolution? Have you told anyone about it? You know I have heard motivational speakers and performance coaches speak of making your commitments public so that it gives you more incentive to see them through. Accountability they call it. I disagree. In my life, when something is really important to me, I find making a commitment to myself and keeping it a secret much more effective. That way I know the only person I am accountable to is me. I don’t have to add the pressure of people watching to see if I will fail or succeed, or judge the rate it is taking me to finish. And I also don’t use my goal as an excuse to stroke my ego in front of others. Usually an ego-driven goal is not going to be accomplished anyway and you’ll certainly end up with egg on your face. All these are the dangers of making your commitments public.

I remember back in high school, getting your driver’s license was pretty important business. Everyone knew when you were doing your test and everyone had their comments about how many times it took you to get your license. I was going to keep my test date a secret. Then in an act of weakness (ego got the best of me), I told a friend who then told two friends and so on….I was awarded my license on the second try. I had wished I hadn’t told anyone. I still remember Stacey Buzinski*, who successfully was awarded her license on the first try driving stick no less, looking at me with indignant superiority. Yes, she was good but I was too young to realize her success had no bearing on my own. It took the wind out my sails and added a whole lot more pressure on me to succeed. That’s great if you work best under pressure. I don’t.

Skip forward a few years. I had made it a goal to graduate from university with Great Distinction. I didn’t tell anyone. I did and when I showed my parchment to friends and family members they were really impressed. More importantly, I felt like I had kept a promise to myself. This was my achievement and mine alone. If I would have talked at great length about my goal, no one would have cared in the end and I think sometimes perhaps I wouldn’t have made it. Have you ever noticed people sometimes have a tendency to bring you down when you are trying to rise above? Have you ever noticed they can be very effective in keeping you down? Yet another draw back of going public.

So if you have a resolution or a goal you wish to accomplish, keep it a secret. Make it a commitment to yourself and be accountable only to you. Don’t let anyone be the critic of you - even yourself. When you succeed, it is total satisfaction and fulfillment for you and wondrous applause from others. They’ll wonder what your secret is.

And that’s my perspective…

*Name has been changed. I decided to keep it a secret. :)