Christmas is fast approaching. Yes, the season of giving is truly upon us. What are you giving this year? I am sure there are a lot of tangible items you can name, but what intangibles are you giving?
There are so many great intangible gifts. Some of my favourites are peace, love, happiness, and of course, my all time favourite – laughter. Now I know what you’re thinking, no one unwraps laughter from underneath the Christmas tree; no one shakes a box and exclaims “I hope there’s peace inside!” Yet, these are the most valuable gifts to be had.
So how do you do it? How do you give these gifts away? Easy. You give them to yourself. When you do everyone receives. For example, I was wandering around my house feeling very stressed and frustrated at the mess my two little darlings made and wondering how I was ever going to be ready for my inlaws coming at Christmas. I also was wondering when I was going to finish the last of the Christmas shopping, wrap the gifts without the children knowing, and do some personal shopping without being totally overwhelmed by crowds and line-ups. Then I took a moment and decided to give myself the gift of peace. I took a deep breath and realized the kids always mess up the house and it always manages to get neat again. I laughed at the thought of worrying about what my in-laws thought. They are always so grateful to have a homey place to stay. And as for personal shopping, who am I kidding? I love to shop for myself and as for Christmas shopping, I am essentially done with only one or two items to pick up. I am stressing because all those things seem much bigger than they really are and far more important.
Once I began to breathe again, my mood instantly changed. I had given myself the gift of peace and when I did, everyone received peace as well. No longer was I stomping about making snide comments under my breath. Instead, I was pleasant to be around. Trust me, my kids and my husband were both very grateful! And I felt a whole lot better. My stressing wasn’t doing anyone any good; it wasn’t changing anything; and it was only upsetting myself and my family.
So as you feel the pressures of the Christmas season build this year, take a moment to give yourself a gift. Whether it’s peace, laughter, gratitude, or relaxation, don’t hold back. Give it up freely. It doesn’t cost anything. You don’t have to wrap it. And everyone will want to know where you got it. Most importantly, you deserve it.
Merry Christmas!
And that’s my perspective….
December 16, 2009
July 30, 2009
The Secret to Teamwork
We’ve all heard the clichés about how working as a team is more powerful than working alone; that no man is an island; that T-E-A-M stands for Together Everyone Achieves Miracles.
Perhaps, if you’re like me, you don’t really buy in to that rhetoric especially if you have had experiences where doing it yourself seems not only faster but gives you a better quality result. But this past week I had the opportunity to be on a team that was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Truly together we achieved miracles.
I was volunteering as a crew member for an Anthony Robbins event in Toronto – the same event I attended in March where after the first day you walk barefoot over hot coals. I was placed on what was called “The Fire Team” – the group of people who were to build the fire and prepare the site for 3000 participants to walk barefoot over hot coals in the dead of night.
The first thing we were told by the captains of the team was that normally they have 50 volunteers to get the job done (there were 24 of us) and normally they get one break for dinner, but because of our low numbers, that may not happen. (Please note that the day begins at 8am and ends in the wee hours of the morning.) We were also told that the site managers wanted the whole thing cleaned up that night because they had a group coming in that morning and didn’t want them to see a charred mess when they arrived. In other words, expect to work all day, all night, get no breaks and plan to be there until 3:00 a.m.
OK so be it. I came to volunteer and that is what I did. And so did everyone else. We began our work preparing a park to be safe for 3000 people walking around barefoot in the dark. This meant clearing every twig, rock, piece of glass or whatever from the ground by hand. We assembled 18 wheelbarrows from scratch to be used during the day and to hold the coals that participants would walk on. We then put up a fence that scaled the perimeter of the CN tower park, which is quite large, so that no one would come wandering through the park while people were about to walk on coals. We sodded a rocky hill that led down into the park to protect people’s feet. We swept the concrete and sidewalks leading from the building to the park to remove any pebbles, stones, and sharp objects. We then created 18 firewalk lanes with 2 layers of sod, laid out 18 water hoses to each lane, and of course built and maintained the fire from which we got the coals from – which was another complex process and done on a 12’x 36’ foundation area made of 5 layers of sod which we laid. The fire needed to be stoked and kept burning for at least 6 hours before the coals are ready. All done again by our small but mighty crew.
What was so amazing about our small but MIGHTY crew was that we had so much fun doing it all. At lunch time we were actually ahead of schedule and took a break. At dinner time, we were still ahead of schedule and got an unprecedented second break! We all stayed until the very end when the last coals and sod were cleaned from the site and we were formally dismissed at 12:45 am. Unbelievable. Our team worked like magic.
The next day we had a debrief meeting. The captains said normally they give out a prize for the best seasoned fire team member and the best rookie. Since they were out of country, the Canadian promoter did not provide prizes for the fire team. The captains said it was for the best because they wouldn’t have wanted to choose. Everyone was that good.
That night we began bugging the captains asking them who would have received the prizes if they had them. They threw it back at us asking, “Who would you choose?” We all sat in silence not wanting to name someone over another. I finally said, “The reason we were such an amazing team is because no one person stood out above the rest.” We all nodded in agreement.
So that’s the secret to teamwork: Every person sharing a common vision for a common result. We all knew up front what we needed to do, how long it would take, and we all agreed to stay until the end to see it through. I guess that’s also a common expectation. The communication regarding what to expect was excellent. The only surprises were good ones like “Go eat!” Even the unexpected 4 hours of rain couldn’t dampen our spirits. There was too much good built up to wash it away.
The minute one tries to outshine another, the team is broken. The second one tries to sluff off duties so another has to pick up the slack, the team is damaged. The moment one leaves because they’re done even when the job isn’t, the team ceases to exist. If you expect to get a break and don’t, morale lowers. It’s about vision, outcome, and meeting expectations. If you get all those, you have the ingredients for a miracle. It’s a simple recipe, you just need to remember to follow it.
And that’s my perspective…
Perhaps, if you’re like me, you don’t really buy in to that rhetoric especially if you have had experiences where doing it yourself seems not only faster but gives you a better quality result. But this past week I had the opportunity to be on a team that was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Truly together we achieved miracles.
I was volunteering as a crew member for an Anthony Robbins event in Toronto – the same event I attended in March where after the first day you walk barefoot over hot coals. I was placed on what was called “The Fire Team” – the group of people who were to build the fire and prepare the site for 3000 participants to walk barefoot over hot coals in the dead of night.
The first thing we were told by the captains of the team was that normally they have 50 volunteers to get the job done (there were 24 of us) and normally they get one break for dinner, but because of our low numbers, that may not happen. (Please note that the day begins at 8am and ends in the wee hours of the morning.) We were also told that the site managers wanted the whole thing cleaned up that night because they had a group coming in that morning and didn’t want them to see a charred mess when they arrived. In other words, expect to work all day, all night, get no breaks and plan to be there until 3:00 a.m.
OK so be it. I came to volunteer and that is what I did. And so did everyone else. We began our work preparing a park to be safe for 3000 people walking around barefoot in the dark. This meant clearing every twig, rock, piece of glass or whatever from the ground by hand. We assembled 18 wheelbarrows from scratch to be used during the day and to hold the coals that participants would walk on. We then put up a fence that scaled the perimeter of the CN tower park, which is quite large, so that no one would come wandering through the park while people were about to walk on coals. We sodded a rocky hill that led down into the park to protect people’s feet. We swept the concrete and sidewalks leading from the building to the park to remove any pebbles, stones, and sharp objects. We then created 18 firewalk lanes with 2 layers of sod, laid out 18 water hoses to each lane, and of course built and maintained the fire from which we got the coals from – which was another complex process and done on a 12’x 36’ foundation area made of 5 layers of sod which we laid. The fire needed to be stoked and kept burning for at least 6 hours before the coals are ready. All done again by our small but mighty crew.
What was so amazing about our small but MIGHTY crew was that we had so much fun doing it all. At lunch time we were actually ahead of schedule and took a break. At dinner time, we were still ahead of schedule and got an unprecedented second break! We all stayed until the very end when the last coals and sod were cleaned from the site and we were formally dismissed at 12:45 am. Unbelievable. Our team worked like magic.
The next day we had a debrief meeting. The captains said normally they give out a prize for the best seasoned fire team member and the best rookie. Since they were out of country, the Canadian promoter did not provide prizes for the fire team. The captains said it was for the best because they wouldn’t have wanted to choose. Everyone was that good.
That night we began bugging the captains asking them who would have received the prizes if they had them. They threw it back at us asking, “Who would you choose?” We all sat in silence not wanting to name someone over another. I finally said, “The reason we were such an amazing team is because no one person stood out above the rest.” We all nodded in agreement.
So that’s the secret to teamwork: Every person sharing a common vision for a common result. We all knew up front what we needed to do, how long it would take, and we all agreed to stay until the end to see it through. I guess that’s also a common expectation. The communication regarding what to expect was excellent. The only surprises were good ones like “Go eat!” Even the unexpected 4 hours of rain couldn’t dampen our spirits. There was too much good built up to wash it away.
The minute one tries to outshine another, the team is broken. The second one tries to sluff off duties so another has to pick up the slack, the team is damaged. The moment one leaves because they’re done even when the job isn’t, the team ceases to exist. If you expect to get a break and don’t, morale lowers. It’s about vision, outcome, and meeting expectations. If you get all those, you have the ingredients for a miracle. It’s a simple recipe, you just need to remember to follow it.
And that’s my perspective…
June 19, 2009
The Right Fight
Have you ever been so frustrated because you felt you were so right about something and no matter how right you were, it couldn’t or wouldn’t change the opinion of someone who was, in your opinion, so obviously wrong? Do you remember how every time you thought about how stupid or insensitive they were not to have seen or done things in a certain way, how you became more angry and agitated? Maybe it kept you up at night. Maybe it gave you headaches. Maybe it made you lose your appetite. But one thing I can guarantee it didn’t do is make you feel better.
This is a classic example of being smack dab in the middle of a right fight. And it is a recipe for being miserable. Your mind will fight valiantly giving you reason after reason why you are right and therefore, why you should remain angry or resentful or hurt. But the truth is the only person you are hurting is yourself.
It takes a lot of courage to walk away from the right fight. Most people see it as defeat – admitting they are wrong. But the truth is each and every person is entitled to their own version of the truth. What is right in your eyes may not be right for another. What may be wrong in your eyes may be perfectly correct for someone else. What’s most important is to honor your right to your opinion and at the same time honor someone else’s right to theirs.
I recently experienced the effects of a right fight. The more I kept telling myself of the injustices that were put upon me, the more absolutely horrible I felt. I was irritable, tearful, angry, and resentful. I felt like alienating myself from the world. My drive to do and be helpful diminished. I knew that this could not go on without me sliding into a deep depression, so I kept asking myself, “How can I heal this?” “How can I forgive this?”
And then I got the answer. “Move on. Forgive. And know you have choices. Make one and be at peace with it. If your choice is not bringing you peace, make another choice.” I realized it isn’t failure to forgive others for something that you do not agree with, but it is a huge failure to allow yourself to be miserable over someone else’s opinion. Similarly, it is not success to be able to make someone admit you are right; but it is success to own what is right for you without denying others what is right for them.
In short, life is meant to be lived happily. And while you can tell yourself how right you are that someone screwed you over or that something is to blame for what is not right in your life, only you can choose how you feel. Choose to feel good. Choose to feel glad. But when you hang onto being right to prove someone else is wrong, know you are choosing to feel miserable.
And that’s my perspective...
This is a classic example of being smack dab in the middle of a right fight. And it is a recipe for being miserable. Your mind will fight valiantly giving you reason after reason why you are right and therefore, why you should remain angry or resentful or hurt. But the truth is the only person you are hurting is yourself.
It takes a lot of courage to walk away from the right fight. Most people see it as defeat – admitting they are wrong. But the truth is each and every person is entitled to their own version of the truth. What is right in your eyes may not be right for another. What may be wrong in your eyes may be perfectly correct for someone else. What’s most important is to honor your right to your opinion and at the same time honor someone else’s right to theirs.
I recently experienced the effects of a right fight. The more I kept telling myself of the injustices that were put upon me, the more absolutely horrible I felt. I was irritable, tearful, angry, and resentful. I felt like alienating myself from the world. My drive to do and be helpful diminished. I knew that this could not go on without me sliding into a deep depression, so I kept asking myself, “How can I heal this?” “How can I forgive this?”
And then I got the answer. “Move on. Forgive. And know you have choices. Make one and be at peace with it. If your choice is not bringing you peace, make another choice.” I realized it isn’t failure to forgive others for something that you do not agree with, but it is a huge failure to allow yourself to be miserable over someone else’s opinion. Similarly, it is not success to be able to make someone admit you are right; but it is success to own what is right for you without denying others what is right for them.
In short, life is meant to be lived happily. And while you can tell yourself how right you are that someone screwed you over or that something is to blame for what is not right in your life, only you can choose how you feel. Choose to feel good. Choose to feel glad. But when you hang onto being right to prove someone else is wrong, know you are choosing to feel miserable.
And that’s my perspective...
May 21, 2009
Doing the Impossible
This year has been a whirlwind of accomplishments and discoveries. And with each event I have been able to take in a number of life lessons. I feel very blessed to have been given these lessons, so I thought I would share them with you.
It all began with me making a list of goals for 2009 in January. On that list, I had set a goal to be paid for my speaking. I had no idea how this was to happen. One day shortly after that, I had the brilliant idea to google “Call for Presentations- Saskatoon”. From that search, I found that the Awasis organization was having a conference at the end of April and asking for presenters to speak on matters related to education or wellness. Bingo! I put in my proposal, it was accepted, and I received my first pay cheque for my presentation: Mindfulness- The Path to Wellness on May 1st.
Then, in February, I became aware of an opportunity to go to an Anthony Robbins event where I would have the chance to walk barefoot over hot coals. I have to admit, this really intrigued me. So I went even though I had no idea if I would actually be able to do the walk. Not only did I walk on fire, but it was one of the easiest things I have ever done. Piece of cake. Hmmm.
At the Tony Robbins event I heard about the health benefits of cleansing and fasting. So I did my research and on April 20th I began the Master Cleanse. For those who are unfamiliar, the Master Cleanse basically consists of consuming nothing other than water and a drink made of fresh, organic lemon juice, pure water, pure maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. This concoction reportedly is chalk full of vitamins and nutrients so it feeds your cells as your body is able to clear out toxins since it doesn’t need to waste energy on digestion. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to follow through with this fast, but I gave it a try and I completed 16 full days of cleansing in this manner. It actually was relatively easy and I was never hungry. And, I am so much more healthy, vibrant, and energetic for having done it.
So what are lessons in all of this?
First, I did what I thought was the impossible three times over in a matter of a few short months. Never did I think I could do any of these things, but when I gave it a try, they were so easy. What else have I been telling myself is impossible that in actuality is relatively easy?
Next, I realized the reason why I hadn’t tried these things (or similar endeavors) in the past is because I was too afraid of failing. The difference this time was that I allowed that option to exist so I didn’t fight against it. I told myself if the Awasis organization rejected my proposal it wasn’t meant to be. I said if I can’t walk on coals well then so be it. And, if I only do one day on the fast, well that’s better than nothing. I allowed myself to be ok with failure if that was to be the outcome but always kept my focus on the success. What a difference that made. It took all the pressure off me, and allowed me to live the experience without worry about the outcome.
Lastly, and most importantly, I learned that when you live in the moment, anything is possible and you actually enjoy the experience of the moment. It is when we live in the past or the future that things seem impossible. Worry is always a fear of the future. “I worry this will happen.” In the moment, there is no worry of what is to come. Disappointment is a fear of the past. “It will just be like before.” In the moment, there is no disappointment. Allowing the moment to be and allowing yourself to be in it, without placing expectation on it or comparing it to something else, is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
So the next time an idea or opportunity comes your way, say “yes” this time, and allow whatever is to come to come. Just like Jim Carrey in the movie “Yes Man”, once you say “yes” to life, things start to happen. Even the impossible becomes possible. The difficult becomes easy. The magnificent becomes you.
And that’s my perspective…
April 21, 2009
What rules you?
Do you consider yourself a rule-follower or a rule-breaker? Whatever the answer, one thing that you may not be aware of is that every person has their own set of rules they follow. These rules are important to know because they drive your every action.
Yep, every one follows a set of rules. You have rules for love, success, relationships, you name it. So if there is an area of your life that isn’t working so well, you need to look at your rules and redefine them.
For example, some time ago I looked at my rules for success. I asked myself, “What has to happen in order for me to feel successful?” My answers surprised me. I had to make a lot more money than I am now. I had to be acknowledged as successful by others, primarily by those in authority. I had to be given recognition (like awards, etc.). And, I had to be given a position of authority.
Pardon the expression, but what a load of crap! Yet, these were the rules I was living under. Picked up from my childhood and other experiences, this is the definition I had unconsciously given to success. Notice how my rules were really leaving me with no control. Under these rules, I was dependent on others actions and reactions to me to determine my level of success. I gave myself no say in the matter.
I quickly defined a new set of rules for success – a set of rules where I was in control of the outcome. Now, to me, success means helping another. Success means leaving someone happier and more content than when I first met them. Success is when I learn something new or do something better than I used to. Success is doing something I thought I couldn’t do. Success is giving. And success is continuing to love someone even when they do something I don’t love.
I like these rules a whole lot more because not only am I in control of my success, but I have a whole lot more capacity to feel successful every day. And that’s awesome.
So ask yourself, what has to happen for you to feel successful? What has to happen for you to feel loved? What has to happen for you to be in a passionate relationship? What has to happen for you to be happy? You may be surprised by your answers. You may think others are to blame for things not going well in your life, but it’s only because you set up your rules that way. Know your rules; then change your rules. It will change your life.
And that’s my perspective…
April 13, 2009
Do you have a life list?
Have you ever done the exercise where you have written down all your goals of what you would like to achieve before you die? If you have, have you then looked over your list and thought, “Holy crap. How and when am I ever going to do any of this?”
Such a task is useful to make you think of what you desire, but the after-effect of feeling overwhelmed and perhaps inadequate is less than helpful. There you are with your big long ‘to do’ list and you haven’t got a clue where to start. With a list like this, everything can seemingly appear unattainable. Recently, I came across a great way to make your seemingly unattainable goals seem quite realistic; so I thought I’d share. I got this from Jeanette Maw (goodvibecoach.com) who got it from Mike Dooley (tut.com).
First you are to number a page from say 1 to 30 (or whatever the page will take- the actual number is not important.) Beside the odd numbers, write down goals from the past that you have already accomplished. When you are finished, fill in the even numbers with the goals you wish to achieve. It’s amazing how intermingling current goals with ones already completed gives you a whole new perspective on what is possible. And it completely eliminates a daunting to do list since you can immediately cross off half the items as already done! Sweet.
To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, I’ll share a portion of my list with you:
1. Sail around the world on at tall ship.
2. Do pilates/yoga regularly.
3. Go on a safari in
4. Write a book.
5. Walk on fire.
6. Live on acreage with a short commute to the city.
7. Meet a celebrity.
8. Travel through
Do you see how all of a sudden, my current goals (even numbers) seem fairly small and reachable compared to what I have already done (odd numbers)?
When we are making goals they often seem like dreams that are out of reach because they are an unknown. We haven’t done them yet so it is difficult to fathom their existence. But when you couple that with all the things you have already achieved, they become closer in reach. You begin to remember that the things you have done were perhaps once pie in the sky dreams as well. And now that you’ve done them, you think, “I’ve done that. No big deal.” So the stuff you haven’t done becomes, “I can do that. No big deal.”
So this fire-walking world traveler is off to sign up for pilates…maybe. Well, at least I know I can do it! On second thought, I think I’ll google Italian sites instead!
And that’s my perspective…
March 30, 2009
Extreme PD anyone?
Imagine a professional development seminar where you are one of 4000 participants. Imagine that this seminar begins daily at 8:30am, finishes around midnight, and you only get one 1hour break (usually around 5 pm). Now imagine that this seminar takes place in an open room with a cement floor and you are sitting on plastic fold out chairs. And imagine that after the first day you would be led out of this seminar to a dark parking garage in the dead of night with the 3999 other strangers, and you would then proceed to walk barefoot over twelve feet of hot coals.
Now imagine that same seminar where the facilitator is world-renowned, best in his field. Imagine going through four days of learning solid, proven strategies to change your life and overcome your deepest fears. Imagine actually annihilating your most limiting beliefs at that seminar and replacing them with new empowering belief systems. Imagine a seminar where you are continually engaged, never tired, always energized. Imagine connecting with the other participants so deeply that you make life-long friends.
Now imagine being chosen out of those 4000 people by this world-renowned facilitator to come up on stage and work out an issue that not only helps you, but helps countless others in the room. And by doing so, you are completely transformed.
I recently returned from such a seminar and the above three paragraphs describe in a nutshell what I experienced. The event was entitled “Unleash the Power Within” and the world-renowned facilitator was none other than Anthony Robbins.
I sum up the whole experience as ‘extreme PD’. And yes, the days were that long; and no, I never felt tired; and yes, it was the most rewarding experience of my life; and no, the effects of it have not worn off, nor will they.
The majority of the people I talk to are most intrigued by the firewalk. All I can say is that walking barefoot over 2000 degree Fahrenheit coals was one of the easiest things I have ever done. It did not hurt. It did not burn. I walked twelve feet but could have easily walked fifty. The experience has made me look at life’s problems in a completely different way. I mean if I can walk on fire, what else can I do? Anything, quite frankly. Taking the first step is the most critical for the firewalk. Once you take the first step, there’s no turning back. There’s no waiting around, pondering “Do I really want to do this?” You just do it. What a great metaphor for life.
This seminar also challenged a number of my beliefs about what constitutes a good education. We did 50 hours of instruction in 4 days – almost the same amount of hours needed for a 6 credit unit class. This method of immersion was far more effective than if we would have done one hour a week for 50 weeks. Also, having 4000 participants added to the excitement, energy, and success of the event. If we were a group of 50, a lot would have been lost. And lastly, we did not just sit in our chairs and take notes. We were continually out of our chairs working in pairs or threes, physically putting what we learned to use, and utilizing our minds, bodies, and spirits for maximum effect. We were fully engaged! And it made all the difference.
Challenge your beliefs. Dare to see your life in new ways. If you think you have an issue, instead of thinking of it as an ending, think of it as a beginning. And know you are capable of much more than you think. You, too, could easily walk on fire.
And that’s my perspective….
PS. If anyone is interested in experiencing this event, I highly recommend it. Feel free to email me for more information. The next seminar is June 11-14th in
March 4, 2009
Prosperity vs Poverty: What's in Your Consciousness?
Everyday it seems people are hearing, talking, and/or worrying about the economy. Will I have a job? Will I have enough to retire? Will I be ok? And the answer is YES.
I have long believed that we create our own reality. Too often, we believe that outside forces create our reality for us. If this is true, then why do some people prosper in poor economic times? It is because they believe they will. Their thoughts are focused with conscious intention on prosperity. They have what is called prosperity consciousness.
Prosperity consciousness is a new buzz phrase, but one we should all become familiar with. Most people think prosperity is an abundance of money or things or even luck – it is not. Prosperity is a mindset. Similarly, your poverty is not a lack of money or things nor is it bad luck – it too is a mindset.
What’s your mindset? Is it focused with intention on prosperity or poverty?
Randy Gage, a world renowned prosperity expert, gives three areas to focus on to determine whether we have prosperity consciousness or poverty consciousness. These areas are as follows:
1. The Fixation
Are you fixated on money? Are you always thinking about how much something costs? Are you always thinking about what is in your bank account? Will you not buy something you like because it is $10 too much? Will you buy a medium coffee because a large costs more money? Do you keep a tally of what people owe you down to the penny? Do you feel like someone is trying to steal or take from you if you are asked for money?
Or
Do you know you have what you need? Do you know if you need more it will come? Do you graciously give when someone is in need? Do you make choices based on discernment and not on emotion? Do you pay your bills with ease and feel good that you are able to?
2. The Disassociation
Do you hate rich people? Are you suspicious of them? Are you jealous of them? Are they in a group you do not associate with? Do you believe rich people are rich because they take other people’s money, even if those people willingly gave it for a service they provide? Do you believe money is the root of all evil? Or that if you are rich you can not be spiritual or a good person? Do you believe that most rich people have not come by it honestly? Do you believe they don’t deserve to be rich? Do you believe you don’t deserve to be rich? Do you view money as a source of corruption? Do you believe that by someone else having money means it takes it out of the pocket of someone who doesn’t or even out of your pocket? Do you believe all this and still strive to be rich and wonder why you aren’t?
Or
Do you look at the rich and become inspired? Do you think if they can do it, I can too? Are you happy for their success? Do you wish for even more blessings to come their way? Can you visualize yourself as rich? Do you see money as great capable of doing great things?
3. The Fear Based Decision Making
Do you make decisions based on fear? Do you make decisions to avoid a possible negative outcome? Do you not move forward with an idea because you think it may fail or even succeed? Do you hang onto your money and not invest because you are afraid you will lose it? Do you drive around the parking lot for 10 minutes to avoid having to walk farther than you feel is acceptable? Are you always worried when things are good that something is coming to change that? Do you feel intense negative emotion over losing $10 and little positive emotion over gaining $100? Do you feel you can’t spend money on something you want because there might not be enough in the future?
Or
Do you make decisions knowing the best will come out of it? Do you know any failed attempts are just experiences to gain wisdom and that you can try again or do something differently? Do you graciously give without fear of being put out? Are you grateful for all that you have and all that you receive? Do you realize you don’t miss the money you have spent but only bask in the experiences that spending has given you?
After going through these questions would you say you have prosperity consciousness or poverty consciousness? My hope is that you have prosperity consciousness. My experience shows me most people don’t. But the good news is you have the power to change that. Poverty consciousness is nothing more than impoverished thoughts made into beliefs because you have habitually thought them over and over again. You have control of your thoughts. Think new prosperous ones over and over again. And allow yourself to relax about money.
Easier said than done? I know. I used to be the poverty consciousness poster child. I would count my money down to the penny. I would be stingy tipping at restaurants even finding something wrong with the service to justify not tipping. I would not order a drink at a restaurant because it would drive up the bill that extra $1.50. I never picked up the cheque, just bought my own. I would be jealous of rich people. And, I would focus on what I didn’t have instead on what I did have. But I have been able to change that. And I now live a very prosperous life. Sometimes, I get stuck back in my old ways, and I have to force myself to think differently. And then things turn around. Why? Because I control my prosperity, not the economy. Come on say it with me, “I control my prosperity, not the economy.” Say it louder now, “I Control My Prosperity, Not the Economy.” Now say it like you mean it, “I CONTROL MY PROSPERITY, NOT THE ECONOMY.” Now feel what you’re saying, really believe it this time
Well done. Now make it your conscious intention to do so. Pay attention to your impoverished thoughts and when you have one, tell yourself “Oh yeah, I control my prosperity and all is well.”
I wish you all to be showered with the greatest abundance and prosperity day after day for you all truly deserve it, no matter what.
And that’s my perspective…
I have long believed that we create our own reality. Too often, we believe that outside forces create our reality for us. If this is true, then why do some people prosper in poor economic times? It is because they believe they will. Their thoughts are focused with conscious intention on prosperity. They have what is called prosperity consciousness.
Prosperity consciousness is a new buzz phrase, but one we should all become familiar with. Most people think prosperity is an abundance of money or things or even luck – it is not. Prosperity is a mindset. Similarly, your poverty is not a lack of money or things nor is it bad luck – it too is a mindset.
What’s your mindset? Is it focused with intention on prosperity or poverty?
Randy Gage, a world renowned prosperity expert, gives three areas to focus on to determine whether we have prosperity consciousness or poverty consciousness. These areas are as follows:
1. The Fixation
Are you fixated on money? Are you always thinking about how much something costs? Are you always thinking about what is in your bank account? Will you not buy something you like because it is $10 too much? Will you buy a medium coffee because a large costs more money? Do you keep a tally of what people owe you down to the penny? Do you feel like someone is trying to steal or take from you if you are asked for money?
Or
Do you know you have what you need? Do you know if you need more it will come? Do you graciously give when someone is in need? Do you make choices based on discernment and not on emotion? Do you pay your bills with ease and feel good that you are able to?
2. The Disassociation
Do you hate rich people? Are you suspicious of them? Are you jealous of them? Are they in a group you do not associate with? Do you believe rich people are rich because they take other people’s money, even if those people willingly gave it for a service they provide? Do you believe money is the root of all evil? Or that if you are rich you can not be spiritual or a good person? Do you believe that most rich people have not come by it honestly? Do you believe they don’t deserve to be rich? Do you believe you don’t deserve to be rich? Do you view money as a source of corruption? Do you believe that by someone else having money means it takes it out of the pocket of someone who doesn’t or even out of your pocket? Do you believe all this and still strive to be rich and wonder why you aren’t?
Or
Do you look at the rich and become inspired? Do you think if they can do it, I can too? Are you happy for their success? Do you wish for even more blessings to come their way? Can you visualize yourself as rich? Do you see money as great capable of doing great things?
3. The Fear Based Decision Making
Do you make decisions based on fear? Do you make decisions to avoid a possible negative outcome? Do you not move forward with an idea because you think it may fail or even succeed? Do you hang onto your money and not invest because you are afraid you will lose it? Do you drive around the parking lot for 10 minutes to avoid having to walk farther than you feel is acceptable? Are you always worried when things are good that something is coming to change that? Do you feel intense negative emotion over losing $10 and little positive emotion over gaining $100? Do you feel you can’t spend money on something you want because there might not be enough in the future?
Or
Do you make decisions knowing the best will come out of it? Do you know any failed attempts are just experiences to gain wisdom and that you can try again or do something differently? Do you graciously give without fear of being put out? Are you grateful for all that you have and all that you receive? Do you realize you don’t miss the money you have spent but only bask in the experiences that spending has given you?
After going through these questions would you say you have prosperity consciousness or poverty consciousness? My hope is that you have prosperity consciousness. My experience shows me most people don’t. But the good news is you have the power to change that. Poverty consciousness is nothing more than impoverished thoughts made into beliefs because you have habitually thought them over and over again. You have control of your thoughts. Think new prosperous ones over and over again. And allow yourself to relax about money.
Easier said than done? I know. I used to be the poverty consciousness poster child. I would count my money down to the penny. I would be stingy tipping at restaurants even finding something wrong with the service to justify not tipping. I would not order a drink at a restaurant because it would drive up the bill that extra $1.50. I never picked up the cheque, just bought my own. I would be jealous of rich people. And, I would focus on what I didn’t have instead on what I did have. But I have been able to change that. And I now live a very prosperous life. Sometimes, I get stuck back in my old ways, and I have to force myself to think differently. And then things turn around. Why? Because I control my prosperity, not the economy. Come on say it with me, “I control my prosperity, not the economy.” Say it louder now, “I Control My Prosperity, Not the Economy.” Now say it like you mean it, “I CONTROL MY PROSPERITY, NOT THE ECONOMY.” Now feel what you’re saying, really believe it this time
“I CONTROL MY PROSPERITY, NOT THE ECONOMY.”
Well done. Now make it your conscious intention to do so. Pay attention to your impoverished thoughts and when you have one, tell yourself “Oh yeah, I control my prosperity and all is well.”
I wish you all to be showered with the greatest abundance and prosperity day after day for you all truly deserve it, no matter what.
And that’s my perspective…
February 25, 2009
Conscious Intentions revisited
In my last blog entry, I spoke of intention. I am not done with this subject yet. It is my intention to make sure you get this, because I believe intention is the most powerful tool anyone has at their disposal to make their life as they would wish it to be.
Most people don’t believe they can really influence the events in their lives. That belief is an intention in itself. It goes something like this, “I intend to not believe I can actually make a difference in my life, so stuff will just happen and I get what I get, and sometimes other people are to blame and sometimes not, but I have no control over such things.”
Does this resonate with you?
Now imagine changing that belief. With conscious conviction state emphatically, “I intend to create joy in my life no matter what. I intend to take responsibility for it all.” Congratulations. You have just consciously given yourself permission to get the good stuff no matter what. And not only that, you have intended that you have full control over what it is. And whatever it is will come. But the thing about conscious intention is you have to pay attention; be in the moment in order to get the pay off. You have to be conscious. Otherwise, the unconscious intentions that are still deeply entrenched within will take over. But it’s not because you can not actually consciously create your life as you wish. It’s because you stopped paying attention (aka went unconscious).
So take note of what’s going on around you every moment. Be aware. Be conscious! When something enjoyable happens, acknowledge it and congratulate yourself for consciously intending that to happen. When a situation occurs that would normally irritate or frustrate you, tell yourself you intend to not react to this because you intend to enjoy yourself no matter what.
Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” Judgment, disapproval, believing someone is wrong are all just forms of resistance as is any negative emotion, which is why the conditions you judge, disapprove of, see as wrong, or feel bad about continue to persist. Trying harder or putting up more of a fight will cause them to persist that much harder or that much more. Drop your fight, lose your judgment, and stop pushing so hard against someone or something, and you will find that you feel peace replace the push. You may think if you stop fighting the other person wins. But the truth is if you stop fighting, intend for nothing but good to come out of it, then you win. And please intend that it be about you winning and not about the other person losing. Try it. It may surprise you.
So when you win on Roll up the Rim, tell yourself you intended that. When you don’t win, tell yourself you intend to enjoy your coffee whether it has a Toyota Senza attached to it or not (this would be the ‘no matter what’ clause coming into play.) Before a meeting, intend to be of service whether that means listening, sharing your knowledge, being understanding, or just enjoying the fact you are learning new information. When your dog chews on one of your favorite pair of shoes, be conscious of how angry you are, and then allow yourself to feel good that you get to go buy a new pair. Or that you love your dog so much you’d give up all your shoes to have him. Or that you realize feeling angry only serves to make you feel bad and won’t bring your shoe back or make your dog change so you might as well laugh.
Whatever it is, go consciously find that new and improved perspective. I double dog dare you. When you succeed, reward yourself with a new pair of shoes.
You can do this. Just intend to.
And that’s my perspective…
Most people don’t believe they can really influence the events in their lives. That belief is an intention in itself. It goes something like this, “I intend to not believe I can actually make a difference in my life, so stuff will just happen and I get what I get, and sometimes other people are to blame and sometimes not, but I have no control over such things.”
Does this resonate with you?
Now imagine changing that belief. With conscious conviction state emphatically, “I intend to create joy in my life no matter what. I intend to take responsibility for it all.” Congratulations. You have just consciously given yourself permission to get the good stuff no matter what. And not only that, you have intended that you have full control over what it is. And whatever it is will come. But the thing about conscious intention is you have to pay attention; be in the moment in order to get the pay off. You have to be conscious. Otherwise, the unconscious intentions that are still deeply entrenched within will take over. But it’s not because you can not actually consciously create your life as you wish. It’s because you stopped paying attention (aka went unconscious).
So take note of what’s going on around you every moment. Be aware. Be conscious! When something enjoyable happens, acknowledge it and congratulate yourself for consciously intending that to happen. When a situation occurs that would normally irritate or frustrate you, tell yourself you intend to not react to this because you intend to enjoy yourself no matter what.
Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” Judgment, disapproval, believing someone is wrong are all just forms of resistance as is any negative emotion, which is why the conditions you judge, disapprove of, see as wrong, or feel bad about continue to persist. Trying harder or putting up more of a fight will cause them to persist that much harder or that much more. Drop your fight, lose your judgment, and stop pushing so hard against someone or something, and you will find that you feel peace replace the push. You may think if you stop fighting the other person wins. But the truth is if you stop fighting, intend for nothing but good to come out of it, then you win. And please intend that it be about you winning and not about the other person losing. Try it. It may surprise you.
So when you win on Roll up the Rim, tell yourself you intended that. When you don’t win, tell yourself you intend to enjoy your coffee whether it has a Toyota Senza attached to it or not (this would be the ‘no matter what’ clause coming into play.) Before a meeting, intend to be of service whether that means listening, sharing your knowledge, being understanding, or just enjoying the fact you are learning new information. When your dog chews on one of your favorite pair of shoes, be conscious of how angry you are, and then allow yourself to feel good that you get to go buy a new pair. Or that you love your dog so much you’d give up all your shoes to have him. Or that you realize feeling angry only serves to make you feel bad and won’t bring your shoe back or make your dog change so you might as well laugh.
Whatever it is, go consciously find that new and improved perspective. I double dog dare you. When you succeed, reward yourself with a new pair of shoes.
You can do this. Just intend to.
And that’s my perspective…
February 5, 2009
Conscious Intentions
Recently, I was reminded by a friend about the power of intention. She said, “All of what exists in our reality began with an intention.” I pondered this for a moment, then asked, “You mean I intended to be irritated by my kids having a shouting match over who should get into the car first this morning?” "Yes." she assured me.
She went on to explain that there are two types of intention:
1. conscious intention where we consciously choose how we intend to feel, and
2. unconscious intention – where some belief in our subconscious mind chooses for us.
In the absence of us consciously choosing our intentions, unconscious intentions fill in by default. But there is always an intention, whether you are aware of it or not.
I began to ponder this and realized that very recently I put the power of conscious intention to play. A couple weeks ago, I was invited to a party at a friend’s house. The week had been busy, my girls had been a handful, and come the day of the party, I did not feel like going. I just wanted to curl up in a blanket, read, and go to bed early.
But a promise is a promise, so I went. In the car I began thinking things like, “I hope this is over quick.” “Maybe I can make some excuse to leave early.” Then I stopped myself and realized I was setting myself up for a lousy time. How crazy was that? I decided since I made the decision to go to this party, I might as well make the decision to enjoy myself. So I sat up straight in the car and said out loud with conviction, “I intend to have a good time tonight. May I reap all of the joy that there is to be had in this evening, no matter what!”
There, that felt better. A word of caution: Look around before you do conscious intentions in your car. The teenagers in the car next to me were looking at me like I was crazy-talking-to-herself lady. Oh well. Probably not the first time that’s happened.
So, the party was great. I had the best time. Fantastic conversations with wonderful people flowed as did good wine. It was divine just as I had intended it to be.
And this morning, I said again with conscious conviction, “I intend to have a great morning with my kids no matter what!” And I did. I also realize my default unconscious intention is “I will enjoy mornings with my kids if they act they way I want them to.” No wonder I was creating irritation and frustration. I set myself up for it by default. Makes you wonder how often that happens in all facets of our day. Ever go into a meeting dreading it? Ever make your happiness reliant on external events? That’s unconscious intention at work.
Dare yourself to try playing with this conscious intention. Think of it as if you are playing a game of cards: conscious intention trumps unconscious intention. And you always got that trump card to play. You just got to remember to use it.
Now I have to go consciously intend to have lunch with George Clooney. I know, unconsciously I am setting myself up for heartache, but a girl can always dream! :)
And that’s my perspective…
She went on to explain that there are two types of intention:
1. conscious intention where we consciously choose how we intend to feel, and
2. unconscious intention – where some belief in our subconscious mind chooses for us.
In the absence of us consciously choosing our intentions, unconscious intentions fill in by default. But there is always an intention, whether you are aware of it or not.
I began to ponder this and realized that very recently I put the power of conscious intention to play. A couple weeks ago, I was invited to a party at a friend’s house. The week had been busy, my girls had been a handful, and come the day of the party, I did not feel like going. I just wanted to curl up in a blanket, read, and go to bed early.
But a promise is a promise, so I went. In the car I began thinking things like, “I hope this is over quick.” “Maybe I can make some excuse to leave early.” Then I stopped myself and realized I was setting myself up for a lousy time. How crazy was that? I decided since I made the decision to go to this party, I might as well make the decision to enjoy myself. So I sat up straight in the car and said out loud with conviction, “I intend to have a good time tonight. May I reap all of the joy that there is to be had in this evening, no matter what!”
There, that felt better. A word of caution: Look around before you do conscious intentions in your car. The teenagers in the car next to me were looking at me like I was crazy-talking-to-herself lady. Oh well. Probably not the first time that’s happened.
So, the party was great. I had the best time. Fantastic conversations with wonderful people flowed as did good wine. It was divine just as I had intended it to be.
And this morning, I said again with conscious conviction, “I intend to have a great morning with my kids no matter what!” And I did. I also realize my default unconscious intention is “I will enjoy mornings with my kids if they act they way I want them to.” No wonder I was creating irritation and frustration. I set myself up for it by default. Makes you wonder how often that happens in all facets of our day. Ever go into a meeting dreading it? Ever make your happiness reliant on external events? That’s unconscious intention at work.
Dare yourself to try playing with this conscious intention. Think of it as if you are playing a game of cards: conscious intention trumps unconscious intention. And you always got that trump card to play. You just got to remember to use it.
Now I have to go consciously intend to have lunch with George Clooney. I know, unconsciously I am setting myself up for heartache, but a girl can always dream! :)
And that’s my perspective…
January 19, 2009
La Dolce Vita
I just returned from a two week holiday in Punta Cana – a little place of paradise on Earth located on the south side of the Dominican Republic. When I arrived in Punta Cana, I was reading a book set in Italy and it inspired me to give a theme to my vacation – la dolce vita (which is Italian for ‘the sweet life’). And la dolce vita it was – waking without alarms, meals made for me daily, drinks with umbrellas, afternoon naps, strolls along a white sand beach, frolicking in the salty waters of the ocean…
Needless to say, I felt a little melancholy about returning home. I thought, “I don’t want to leave this behind. How can I take this with me?”
And, as always, when you ask, it is given. Here was my answer. (I like to imagine this answer spoken by a sexy, Latino man with an equally sexy, Spanish accent. You, however, can imagine it any way you wish.)
“Fay, la dolce vita does not reside outside of yourself. It resides within; therefore, it is always with you. It is not the sand and surf that creates la dolce vita; it is seeing the beauty in the things that surround you. It is feeling the gratitude and joy that these things bring to you. So what it is it, Fay, that brings this gratitude, this joy to you in Saskatoon? Find that; experience that and la dolce vita is yours.”
Interesting. “So, what does bring me this feeling of la dolce vita?” I pondered. “How can I cultivate this sweet life at home, in everyday life?” The answers again came to me quickly. “Wrapping myself in a warm blanket and sipping decadent hot chocolate, listening to soothing music, making tasty meals from fresh ingredients, hearing my children’s laughter as they play, savoring brandy ensconced in a bean of chocolate, enjoying a hot bath with sea salts and essential oils, going to bed early, reading late, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face mixed with the cool winter air…”
I got it. I returned home and have felt quite content ever since.
What about you? Are you living the sweet life? Or is it more like a vinegary verve? If so, do not be upset. Just ask yourself the question, “How can I live la dolce vita now?” Listen for the list and live it. Know you do not need to run to a tropical country to find it. You have it with you all the time. You just must choose to experience it.
And in my knowing, in my finding of this sweet thing that is my life, I whisper to myself with gratitude in Italian, Spanish, and English, “Grazie! Gracias! Thank you.”
And that’s my perspective…
Needless to say, I felt a little melancholy about returning home. I thought, “I don’t want to leave this behind. How can I take this with me?”
And, as always, when you ask, it is given. Here was my answer. (I like to imagine this answer spoken by a sexy, Latino man with an equally sexy, Spanish accent. You, however, can imagine it any way you wish.)
“Fay, la dolce vita does not reside outside of yourself. It resides within; therefore, it is always with you. It is not the sand and surf that creates la dolce vita; it is seeing the beauty in the things that surround you. It is feeling the gratitude and joy that these things bring to you. So what it is it, Fay, that brings this gratitude, this joy to you in Saskatoon? Find that; experience that and la dolce vita is yours.”
Interesting. “So, what does bring me this feeling of la dolce vita?” I pondered. “How can I cultivate this sweet life at home, in everyday life?” The answers again came to me quickly. “Wrapping myself in a warm blanket and sipping decadent hot chocolate, listening to soothing music, making tasty meals from fresh ingredients, hearing my children’s laughter as they play, savoring brandy ensconced in a bean of chocolate, enjoying a hot bath with sea salts and essential oils, going to bed early, reading late, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face mixed with the cool winter air…”
I got it. I returned home and have felt quite content ever since.
What about you? Are you living the sweet life? Or is it more like a vinegary verve? If so, do not be upset. Just ask yourself the question, “How can I live la dolce vita now?” Listen for the list and live it. Know you do not need to run to a tropical country to find it. You have it with you all the time. You just must choose to experience it.
And in my knowing, in my finding of this sweet thing that is my life, I whisper to myself with gratitude in Italian, Spanish, and English, “Grazie! Gracias! Thank you.”
And that’s my perspective…
January 1, 2009
Secret Resolutions
The New Year is upon us and resolutions abound. Have you made a New Year’s resolution? Have you told anyone about it? You know I have heard motivational speakers and performance coaches speak of making your commitments public so that it gives you more incentive to see them through. Accountability they call it. I disagree. In my life, when something is really important to me, I find making a commitment to myself and keeping it a secret much more effective. That way I know the only person I am accountable to is me. I don’t have to add the pressure of people watching to see if I will fail or succeed, or judge the rate it is taking me to finish. And I also don’t use my goal as an excuse to stroke my ego in front of others. Usually an ego-driven goal is not going to be accomplished anyway and you’ll certainly end up with egg on your face. All these are the dangers of making your commitments public.
I remember back in high school, getting your driver’s license was pretty important business. Everyone knew when you were doing your test and everyone had their comments about how many times it took you to get your license. I was going to keep my test date a secret. Then in an act of weakness (ego got the best of me), I told a friend who then told two friends and so on….I was awarded my license on the second try. I had wished I hadn’t told anyone. I still remember Stacey Buzinski*, who successfully was awarded her license on the first try driving stick no less, looking at me with indignant superiority. Yes, she was good but I was too young to realize her success had no bearing on my own. It took the wind out my sails and added a whole lot more pressure on me to succeed. That’s great if you work best under pressure. I don’t.
Skip forward a few years. I had made it a goal to graduate from university with Great Distinction. I didn’t tell anyone. I did and when I showed my parchment to friends and family members they were really impressed. More importantly, I felt like I had kept a promise to myself. This was my achievement and mine alone. If I would have talked at great length about my goal, no one would have cared in the end and I think sometimes perhaps I wouldn’t have made it. Have you ever noticed people sometimes have a tendency to bring you down when you are trying to rise above? Have you ever noticed they can be very effective in keeping you down? Yet another draw back of going public.
So if you have a resolution or a goal you wish to accomplish, keep it a secret. Make it a commitment to yourself and be accountable only to you. Don’t let anyone be the critic of you - even yourself. When you succeed, it is total satisfaction and fulfillment for you and wondrous applause from others. They’ll wonder what your secret is.
And that’s my perspective…
*Name has been changed. I decided to keep it a secret. :)
I remember back in high school, getting your driver’s license was pretty important business. Everyone knew when you were doing your test and everyone had their comments about how many times it took you to get your license. I was going to keep my test date a secret. Then in an act of weakness (ego got the best of me), I told a friend who then told two friends and so on….I was awarded my license on the second try. I had wished I hadn’t told anyone. I still remember Stacey Buzinski*, who successfully was awarded her license on the first try driving stick no less, looking at me with indignant superiority. Yes, she was good but I was too young to realize her success had no bearing on my own. It took the wind out my sails and added a whole lot more pressure on me to succeed. That’s great if you work best under pressure. I don’t.
Skip forward a few years. I had made it a goal to graduate from university with Great Distinction. I didn’t tell anyone. I did and when I showed my parchment to friends and family members they were really impressed. More importantly, I felt like I had kept a promise to myself. This was my achievement and mine alone. If I would have talked at great length about my goal, no one would have cared in the end and I think sometimes perhaps I wouldn’t have made it. Have you ever noticed people sometimes have a tendency to bring you down when you are trying to rise above? Have you ever noticed they can be very effective in keeping you down? Yet another draw back of going public.
So if you have a resolution or a goal you wish to accomplish, keep it a secret. Make it a commitment to yourself and be accountable only to you. Don’t let anyone be the critic of you - even yourself. When you succeed, it is total satisfaction and fulfillment for you and wondrous applause from others. They’ll wonder what your secret is.
And that’s my perspective…
*Name has been changed. I decided to keep it a secret. :)
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