Conscious Intentions revisited

In my last blog entry, I spoke of intention. I am not done with this subject yet. It is my intention to make sure you get this, because I believe intention is the most powerful tool anyone has at their disposal to make their life as they would wish it to be.

Most people don’t believe they can really influence the events in their lives. That belief is an intention in itself. It goes something like this, “I intend to not believe I can actually make a difference in my life, so stuff will just happen and I get what I get, and sometimes other people are to blame and sometimes not, but I have no control over such things.”

Does this resonate with you?

Now imagine changing that belief. With conscious conviction state emphatically, “I intend to create joy in my life no matter what. I intend to take responsibility for it all.” Congratulations. You have just consciously given yourself permission to get the good stuff no matter what. And not only that, you have intended that you have full control over what it is. And whatever it is will come. But the thing about conscious intention is you have to pay attention; be in the moment in order to get the pay off. You have to be conscious. Otherwise, the unconscious intentions that are still deeply entrenched within will take over. But it’s not because you can not actually consciously create your life as you wish. It’s because you stopped paying attention (aka went unconscious).

So take note of what’s going on around you every moment. Be aware. Be conscious! When something enjoyable happens, acknowledge it and congratulate yourself for consciously intending that to happen. When a situation occurs that would normally irritate or frustrate you, tell yourself you intend to not react to this because you intend to enjoy yourself no matter what.

Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” Judgment, disapproval, believing someone is wrong are all just forms of resistance as is any negative emotion, which is why the conditions you judge, disapprove of, see as wrong, or feel bad about continue to persist. Trying harder or putting up more of a fight will cause them to persist that much harder or that much more. Drop your fight, lose your judgment, and stop pushing so hard against someone or something, and you will find that you feel peace replace the push. You may think if you stop fighting the other person wins. But the truth is if you stop fighting, intend for nothing but good to come out of it, then you win. And please intend that it be about you winning and not about the other person losing. Try it. It may surprise you.

So when you win on Roll up the Rim, tell yourself you intended that. When you don’t win, tell yourself you intend to enjoy your coffee whether it has a Toyota Senza attached to it or not (this would be the ‘no matter what’ clause coming into play.) Before a meeting, intend to be of service whether that means listening, sharing your knowledge, being understanding, or just enjoying the fact you are learning new information. When your dog chews on one of your favorite pair of shoes, be conscious of how angry you are, and then allow yourself to feel good that you get to go buy a new pair. Or that you love your dog so much you’d give up all your shoes to have him. Or that you realize feeling angry only serves to make you feel bad and won’t bring your shoe back or make your dog change so you might as well laugh.

Whatever it is, go consciously find that new and improved perspective. I double dog dare you. When you succeed, reward yourself with a new pair of shoes.

You can do this. Just intend to.

And that’s my perspective…

Conscious Intentions

Recently, I was reminded by a friend about the power of intention. She said, “All of what exists in our reality began with an intention.” I pondered this for a moment, then asked, “You mean I intended to be irritated by my kids having a shouting match over who should get into the car first this morning?” "Yes." she assured me.

She went on to explain that there are two types of intention:
1. conscious intention where we consciously choose how we intend to feel, and
2. unconscious intention – where some belief in our subconscious mind chooses for us.

In the absence of us consciously choosing our intentions, unconscious intentions fill in by default. But there is always an intention, whether you are aware of it or not.

I began to ponder this and realized that very recently I put the power of conscious intention to play. A couple weeks ago, I was invited to a party at a friend’s house. The week had been busy, my girls had been a handful, and come the day of the party, I did not feel like going. I just wanted to curl up in a blanket, read, and go to bed early.

But a promise is a promise, so I went. In the car I began thinking things like, “I hope this is over quick.” “Maybe I can make some excuse to leave early.” Then I stopped myself and realized I was setting myself up for a lousy time. How crazy was that? I decided since I made the decision to go to this party, I might as well make the decision to enjoy myself. So I sat up straight in the car and said out loud with conviction, “I intend to have a good time tonight. May I reap all of the joy that there is to be had in this evening, no matter what!”

There, that felt better. A word of caution: Look around before you do conscious intentions in your car. The teenagers in the car next to me were looking at me like I was crazy-talking-to-herself lady. Oh well. Probably not the first time that’s happened.

So, the party was great. I had the best time. Fantastic conversations with wonderful people flowed as did good wine. It was divine just as I had intended it to be.

And this morning, I said again with conscious conviction, “I intend to have a great morning with my kids no matter what!” And I did. I also realize my default unconscious intention is “I will enjoy mornings with my kids if they act they way I want them to.” No wonder I was creating irritation and frustration. I set myself up for it by default. Makes you wonder how often that happens in all facets of our day. Ever go into a meeting dreading it? Ever make your happiness reliant on external events? That’s unconscious intention at work.

Dare yourself to try playing with this conscious intention. Think of it as if you are playing a game of cards: conscious intention trumps unconscious intention. And you always got that trump card to play. You just got to remember to use it.

Now I have to go consciously intend to have lunch with George Clooney. I know, unconsciously I am setting myself up for heartache, but a girl can always dream! :)

And that’s my perspective…